Thursday, April 22, 2010



I have always gotten the biggest kick out of little coincidences. (Well, and big ones too actually.) Tonight I was talking with my sister Leslie about Facebook friends. She casually mentioned that she thought she had around 120. HEY! I have 120 friends (and the only reason I know that is because I'm new to Facebook, so I keep track) and I also just noticed that I have 120 blog posts! How groovy is that? 'Cause now - after this post and when I log back into Facebook, they won't be the same anymore. I love that.

The other night when I went to IN-N-OUT my total came to $3.21. I reached into my ashtray where I keep my change, (do you think kids today even realize that is why we have that little compartment in our cars) and I just randomly happen to pull out two dimes and a penny. I got such a kick out of that and no one else was in the car to share my "hey!" I wanted to tell the girl at the window but I didn't think she would find it the least bit worthy of mentioning, so I didn't.

Another time I was with a date on December 12th and we went to McDonald's. (No he wasn't a cheap date - I love McDonald's and am sure that I suggested it) and our total was $12.12. I think I went on and on about that one for days ... you get it right?

Here's another one, but it's much longer and I hope I explain it okay. Several years ago, Leslie and I were flying from Boston to Nantucket on a rather small airplane and we got quite chatty with the flight attendant. Before we left the plane, he offered us two buddy passes so that we could fly back to Boston the next day rather than take the ferry and then the bus (nice, nice man) because we had tickets to see Donny Osmond in Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat.

It was also the first week that Rosie O'Donnell had her talk show on the air (now you know how long ago this was) and Donny Osmond was going to be one of her first week's guests. Since I am also an Osmond fan (as I wrote about here), I was anxious to see Donny on her show. And, kinda cool that we were seeing him the same week in person ... right? ... it was ... kinda ... yeah?

Sidenote: What I loved about Rosie back then was that her fame was still fairly new so she really did have so much fun inviting celebrities on that she loved and got to meet for the first time. I used to think she had my dream job. I always wanted a talk show too. (But that is totally another story.)

Her very favorites were Tom Cruise and Barbra Streisand - holy cow ... I had forgotten about Barbra! I wonder if you could youtube that and watch it, it was really sweet, even if you don't like Rosie anymore. (This was all before she became so controversial, by the way.)

I actually saw Rosie once at a comedy club in Pasadena just after she had been on Star Search and laughed my head off. In fact, I was laughing so hard I missed some of her jokes. I mean, the tears were streaming down my cheeks. My ex-husband didn't get it. I remember he looked at me very confused and said, "Boy, maybe she's more of a girl's comedian because I don't find her nearly as funny as you do."

I became a fan.

In fact, I called Leslie the next day and made her listen to the whole routine. Only being delivered by me of course, instead of Rosie. I was laughing so hard as I repeated her jokes that I'm not sure if Leslie was laughing because she thought the jokes were funny too or if she was just laughing because I was laughing hysterically and that's just what you do because laughing is so contagious, you can't help it.

(End of long sidenote.)

So Leslie and I flew back to Boston. We loved Joseph! Thought Donny was the greatest thing ever. We felt so proud ... we can.

But we didn't get out of Boston that night. The fog rolled in ... and when its really foggy over the island, they don't let flights in at night. But that was okay, we didn't have anything pressing on our schedule for the next day and they were going to put us up in a hotel room so we were fine with that. Oh. Wait. Except we flew over on buddy passes so there was no obligation from the airline to put us "non-paying" people up in a hotel.

C'mon!!!! Really? Oh noooooo.

We started checking around for hotel rates - okay, in Boston? Yeah. There was really nothing that was close by that was less than $200 a night. And we had had to save up in the first place to get to Nantucket anyway, so there was no way we were going to pay that much for a hotel room. So we decided that we would just hang out in the airport. How bad could it be?

(I am busting up now just thinking about this horrific night!) Oh my. It was awful. First of all, because it was the big bad Boston airport and my sister has always been a little bit of a fraidy cat, we both couldn't close our eyes at the same time. She insisted that one of us would rest and the other one had to stay awake to watch out for our purses and our persons. (Who knows what someone might have done to us had we both been asleep at the same time!)

Kay, we were dressed up ... and in sandals. But it was FREEZING in the airport. And you know how fidgity you get when you are SUPER tired but can't get comfortable and you just want to crawl RIGHT OUT OF YOUR SKIN? Well that's how it was for us ... ALL NIGHT LONG! I seriously think they stopped the clocks because that night had to have lasted at least 27 hours. (It wasn't worth getting the buddy pass.)

So we finally dragged our sorry little tired you know whats into our parents house half way through the next (vacation) day and dropped into bed. It wasn't until the next day, when I was watching Rosie on her first week of her talk show that I realized we HAD MISSED Donny the day before!!!!! And what made it worse was that we missed Donny saying whatever it was he said that upset Rosie enough that every late night talk show was talking about it and how uncool it was of Donny, and how inconsiderate for Rosie, and how Rosie used to be a fan, but now .... ?


So here's what he said ... He was telling Rosie about a concert he had recently done. In fact, it was here in Utah, in Provo, at the Stadium of Fire show on the 4th of July. He was explaining how he had wanted to make a really grand entrance. So he entered the stadium on a helicopter - not IN, but ON. He was basically standing on the landing gear singing as it landed onto the field.

So Rosie, listening intently to her teen idol talk about this amazing stunt, very sweetly says, "Oh my gosh, Donny! That sounds so dangerous. I would have done it for you."

And Donny, very arrogantly, as he picks up his mug of water to take a sip says to Rosie, "Oh that's okay. I don't think the helicopter could hold that much weight."

Silence. Wait, did he really just say that?

Yup, he did, and Rosie wasn't sure what to say next. But what she did say was along the lines of, "Um, I think you just insulted me. I'm pretty sure you just called me fat. I have loved you since I was a kid, I am trying to be nice because I'm so worried about your safety during this stunt that I offer to do it for you and you call me FAT?!"

Oh Donny, Donny, Donny. Open mouth and insert foot. And the wrath of that comment went on for days ... weeks ... and months.

Wow, I really didn't even intend for this post to be about all of this, but since it was, are you asking yourself, and the co-inky-dink here would be what now?

The co-inky-dink here is that I was at that concert he talked about. Smile.


  1. Oh Polly..... what a funny story teller you are.... laughing myself to sleep tonight after reading your post..... and the co-inky-dink here..... (there really isn't one)

  2. that is a looong post da mama. but, i read it all AND enjoyed it. too bad rosie is kooks now...her show was fun.

  3. As a former Bostonian, I feel like I need to defend Logan Airport. It's really not that bad, considering. I've totally slept there before on my own (I'm young and female). Granted, this was all relatively recently, so I can't speak for what it was like about 15 years ago, but give me Logan over JFK or Newark anyway. (Not to mention some of the incredibly sketchy airports overseas.)

  4. To Anonymous: I did say that tongue in cheek. It wasn't bad at all ... in fact it was rather quiet and empty. But my sister has always been a little "scared." When we were little I used to have to accompany her into the basement to retrieve things (and I was younger.) :)

  5. rosie is getting to be un-kook again. She has a new satellite radio show on Sirius that I listen to and she is really funny. She actually talked about how crazy she was during her view time and blames it on going through menopause and not knowing it, and also breaking up with her gf. i am still a rosie fan and i really liked her documentary "a family is a family is a family." i liked your story!

  6. Peeps......hilarious..........remember it like it was yesterday. The most impressive thing to me about this post though.........I bet you went directly to some organized, little photo storage spot, and put your hands right on this photo. You're my idol.

    PS....Anonymous....we love ALL THINGS BOSTON, including the airport :)

  7. am I remembering correctly...I remember going to a TV show taping and they let you go up and tell a joke or two to the audience while we waited for it to start? Or...was it just that they asked people to at one I went to and I thought..."oh darn, why isn't Polly with could've been her big chance!!!" Because you used to tell me you wanted to be Rosie....and that they gave her your show!!! ;}